


crushcrushcrush

by bonkysalpine



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, M/M, Punk Bucky Barnes, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tattooed Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-19 08:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22174504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonkysalpine/pseuds/bonkysalpine
Summary: He didn’t know when it appeared, didn’t know it could be possible, but there it was, written in messy handwriting, long enough to be part of a poem, or a song,‘cause I'd rather waste my life pretending, than have to forget you for one whole minute.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 14
Kudos: 245





	crushcrushcrush

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there  
> This is my first work and I really hope you like it!  
> English is not my first language, so if there are any errors please let me know.  
> Alright, enjoy!

The only thing he knew was that he didn’t have words before going in the ice.

By the time he understood what a soulmark was and that he didn’t get one, he had already given up on the idea that he wasn’t going to spend the rest of his life by himself.

Not that he needed the lack of soulmark to know.

He even tried to date at one point.

There had been Susie Williams, the cute blonde girl with glasses from his art class.

She kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for the dinner before meeting her soulmate the next morning, on her way to class.

Then Dottie Anderson, the cute pharmacist with the bright smile and rosy cheeks.

They had a lovely dinner, but in the end, she told him it couldn’t work because she was in love with her best friend.

They ended up being very good friends.

The last one was Billy Walker, a boy he met in the gay club he worked in when his mother died and he had to figure out a way to survive.

They met a couple of times, in private obviously, and things were pretty good, even if they both knew it was about time they had to go separate ways, since Billy had a soulmark and Steve didn’t.

And then: war.

Steve tried, tried, tried so many times to enlist, but never could.

Until he met Dr. Erskine.

Here he was, seventy years later, with a soulmark on his ribs.

He didn’t know when it appeared, didn’t know it could be possible, but there it was, written in messy handwriting, long enough to be part of a poem, or a song,

_ ‘cause I'd rather waste my life pretending, than have to forget you for one whole minute. _

Steve found out about his soulmark the night he woke up, after being put in a sterile hospital room with a shower so small he could barely fit.

He spent all night tracing the words with his fingers and repeating them trying to make them make sense.

At 4 AM he finally gave up and went for a run, trying to clear his mind and not think about the fact that someone was out there, with his words on them.

He didn’t know if it was a man or a woman (even if the handwriting was suggesting it was a man) and to be honest he didn’t care. 

Steve had always known he did like both men and women and his mother was never able to hear him say it, even if he knows in his heart that she already knew.

He ran for 3 hours around the city, trying to remember which places were already there before everything and which ones got replaced.

When he got back to the room he was assigned to, he found it full of people with weird cameras and concern and anger in their eyes.

“Here he is!” a woman with a white coat breathed relieved.

Steve was just more and more confused.

“Captain, where have you been?” the man with the weird eyepatch, who introduced himself has Nick Fury the day before, asked pissed.

“I went for a run.” the super soldier said with a shrug.

Fury pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“Everybody out, go back to what you were doing.” he demanded and seconds later the room was empty, except for him and Steve.

“Captain Rogers, you have to understand that you can’t just leave the place without telling anybody, especially so early in the morning.” 

Now Steve was just angry.

“So what, am I gonna be locked here for the res of my living days?” he spat furiously. 

“No. You have to adjust to the twentieth century before everything else, and then you are free to do whatever you wanna do. Now, if you excuse me.” he explained before leaving the room.

Steve punched the wall out of anger and watched it crack under his strength.

A year later he found himself sitting in the common room of the Avengers Tower, playing videogames with Sam and Nat.

“You fucking cheater!” Sam shouted over the theme music throwing his controller on the floor.

“I’m not cheating, Samuel. And it’s not my fault you suck at Mario Kart either.” Natasha said with a smirk while stretching her arms over her head.

Steve chuckled at their antics and got up.

“I’m gonna make popcorn, do you want some?” he asked already moving towards the kitchen.

“Yes, please.” They both yelled from the couch stopping their little fight and resuming it immediately.

Steve shook his head fondly before grabbing the bag of popcorn and putting it in the microwave.

“Hey Jarvis?” he called the AI while waiting for the popcorn to be ready.

“Yes, Captain?” 

“Has Tony eaten anything today?” 

“No, Captain. He didn’t leave his lab all day since yesterday.” 

Steve groaned and started making a sandwich for his friend.

After bringing the popcorn to Sam and Nat, he went down to the lab.

He could hear the muffled rock music coming from the room even before he could catch the words.

The door opened and he stepped inside.

“Hey Tony I-“ he said before freezing completely.

Tony turned around with a confused expression.

Steve stayed there, frozen in place, listening to the mesmerizing, raspy, low voice singing the words on his ribs.

_ ‘cause I'd rather waste my life pretending, than have to forget you for one whole minute. _

He dropped the plate and it shattered on the floor with a loud crash.

“What the hell, Cap?” Tony asked a little concerned rushing to Steve.

He didn’t answer, busy listening to what seemed to be his soulmate singing.

Tony stopped the music and Steve screamed “No!” rushing to the stereo system and pressing play again.

“Well, that’s new.” Tony commented with a raised eyebrow.

“Wh-Who is this?” the super soldier asked, trembling voice.

“Uhm. It’s a group called ‘White Wolves’, why?” the shorter man answered sounding uncertain.

Steve started pulling off his shirt.

“Whoa, there. I love you Steve, but not in that way.” Tony said putting his hands forwards.

Steve scoffed and pointed to his soulmark.

Tony got closer and squinted reading the words.

“Am I too sleep-deprived or are these the lyrics from the song I was just listening to?”

“They are!” Steve exclaimed.

“Well Cap, looks like we’ve found your soulmate.” the man said with a smirk.

Steve shivered.

“Wait a second, I read your file and it said you have no soulmark.” Tony commented, confused.

“It appeared sometime when I was frozen. I woke up and it was there.”

Tony scratched his chin, looking thoughtful.

“Jarvis, can you put up James Barnes’ Wikipedia’s page, please?” 

“Yes, Sir.” the AI answered doing just that.

Steve was confronted by a human sized image of the most gorgeous man he’d ever seen, winking at the camera mid-singing. 

The man was tall, not quite like him but enough, built and had the sharpest cheekbones Steve’s ever seen.

And he was shirtless.

With his whole left arm tattooed.

The tattoo was formed by intricated lines curling all over the arm and creating a mesmerizing image, with some hints of red, ending on the man’s left pec.

Steve traced it with his eyes, noticing some other tattoos on the right arm and his neck and the ring decorating his right nipple.

There was a thick black bracelet covering his right wrist and Steve’s heart skipped a beat thinking it could’ve been his soulmark.

He focused on the man’s face and his breath hitched when he met the man’s eyes.

The gray-blue made him lost ability to think about anything else rather than find the perfect painting shade.

He noticed a ring on the man’s nostril and one on his bottom lip and bit back a sight.

Then he moved to his hair, black, shoulder-length, soft-looking hair.

Tony cleared his throat.

Steve startled and looked at him.

“Wow.” The shorter man commented with a chuckle.

Steve blushed and glared at him, before returning to the picture.

“This is James Barnes, lead singer and songwriter of most of the songs of the punk-rock band ‘White Wolves’. He’s 27, from Brooklyn, has a little sister, Rebecca, and is currently touring in America.” Tony declared, looking a little proud of himself.

“Hey, are you guys dea-what the fuck?” Natasha suddenly said entering the room with Sam.

Both Steve and Tony turned around so fast, the former blushing hard and the latter smirking.

“Why are you guys staring at a hot singer’s Wikipedia’s page? And why’s Steve shirtless?” Sam asked, confused.

“Birdman, Widow, may I present you Cap’s soulmate, James Barnes.” Tony stated proudly.

Steve just stared at the floor wishing it would’ve swallowed him.

Sam let out a low whistle and Natasha stared at the page already starting to analyze the man.

“Well I guess we should find a way to let them meet.” Sam said clapping his hands together.

“No.” Steve blurted out.

Three pair of confused eyes were suddenly on him.

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Tony asked with his arm crossed and a raised eyebrow.

“I mean no. If we’re soulmates and the universe paired us up, then the universe will make us meet.” the super soldier said as a matter of fact.

“The universe can only do so much, Steven. You have to help it a little.” Natasha intervened.

Steve sighed and sat down on the floor, cross-legged.

“It’s just… I don’t know if I’m ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready. What if it’s just a big mistake? I was born without a soulmark for a reason... I don’t know if me having one now could change that.” he admitted, voice just over a whisper.

The three other people in the room sat down with him on the floor.

“You were born without a soulmark because your soulmate wasn’t born yet. It was supposed to go this way, Steve.” Sam provided, patting him on the back.

“I know you. I know you long to know your soulmate and to be with him. Don’t let this go, Steve, you deserve it.” Natasha added, taking his hand in hers.

“And you really need to get laid, this is the best opportunity for you!” Tony exclaimed punching him on his arm.

Three unimpressed pair of eyes landed on him and he laughed so hard that in a matter of seconds everyone was laughing.

Later that night Steve was in bed, restlessly reading James Barnes’ Wikipedia’s page for what felt like the 100th time.

He already listened to both his debut and second albums, watched a few live performances and now he started to feel like a stalker.

Truth is, he really wanted to meet the guy, but he was scared.

What if he didn’t see behind the shield?

Bucky was tired. 

Like so, so, so tired.

He just finished a show in LA and all he wanted to do was take a long, hot shower and wash everything away.

He flipped on the bed, hair still damp and towel around his middle and stretched his arms over his head.

With a sigh he closed his eyes and started absentmindedly tracing his soulmark on his wrist.

_ What’s the craic? _

Bucky often wondered if his soulmate was really Irish, as Google said this greeting was from, or if they were just very very weird.

He rolled his eyes and got up from the bed forcing himself to wear pajama pants and go to sleep.

The next morning he was woken up by his manager, Darcy, calling.

“Hey, baby!” she gingerly greeted him.

“Hey, Darce.” he replied sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

“I got a call from Pepper Potts yesterday and she asked if there were some ticket left for your show in New York for the Avengers to attend tonight.”

Bucky stopped mid-yawning.

“The-What?” he almost screamed in disbelief.

“The Earth mightiest heroes? They live in that big ugly building mid-Manhattan? You know, Iron Man, Capt-“ 

“I know who they are, Darcy! Why would they want to attend our show?” he asked, with a hand in his hair.

“Why would I know?” she replied, confused.

“Listen, I just know they asked if there are any tickets left and if they could meet you guys backstage.” the woman continued.

Bucky dropped his phone from shook.

“What the fuck, Bucky?” Darcy’s muffled voice said from the floor.

Bucky cleared his throat and picked up his phone.

“How-How many of them will come?” he asked stuttering.

“Five, as far as I know.” 

“Do you know who?” he asked cautiously.

“Why is it so important?” she asked, pissed.

“No reason.” Bucky replied way too quickly.

“Is this about your crush on Captain America?” she asked, smirk clear in her voice.

“I do not have a crush on Captain America!” 

“Sure thing you don’t, buddy. Anyways, get some rest for tonight, seems like we’ll have an interesting audience.” she made fun of him.

Bucky groaned and Darcy laughed, right before hanging up.

Yes, Bucky had a tiny crush on Steve Rogers, so what? Everyone had.

He spent all day prepping his voice for the night show and taking extra care of his hair and looks.

He even changed his piercing to make them match his outfit.

Just before the concert he was in his dressing room, putting on silver eyeliner when Clint, the band’s guitarist, opened the door. 

“We’re on in five minutes dude, you ready?” he asked from the door.

Bucky took a deep breath and put away the eyeliner, giving himself a last look in the mirror and turning to his bandmate.

“Yeah. Where are Gwen and America?”

“They’re doing pre-show stretching, you know them.” the blond said, shaking his head fondly.

Bucky smiled and got up, taking off his robe and stretching his arms up a little.

“Darcy told me the Avengers are here tonight, did you know?” the guitarist asked.

“Yeah, she told me this morning.” Bucky said absentmindedly.

“I can’t wait to meet Black Widow, she’s super hot.” Clint said, with dreamy eyes.

Bucky snorted.

“You know her soulmate is the Falcon, right?” the brunette said moving his head and cracking his neck.

Clint glared at him and huffed out a laugh.

“Anyways, come out.” he said walking away.

“I already did! In eight grade!” the singer joked and heard the other man laughing.

He smiled to himself and rolled his shoulders, taking a deep breath.

“This is a new song we just recorded for fun. I know it’s not our usual style, but I felt like writing it so shut up!” the man on the staged joked with the loud crowd.

Steve was amazed by the way James was confident and comfortable with such a big audience, how he interacted with the crowd, how it all seemed effortless.

He spent the whole night jumping on the stage, dancing and he even did a flip and was nowhere near out of breath.

The super soldier was speechless.

The lights dimmed and a mic stand was brought on the stage by a man with a black shirt.

James thanked him and put his mic on it, while the blond guy on his left, with the guitar, started playing a slow tune.

Steve saw James closing his eyes and swinging a little with the music.

A few seconds later, he started signing.

_ When I was younger _

_ I saw my daddy cry _

_ And curse at the wind _

_ He broke his own heart _

_ And I watched _

_ As he tried to reassemble it _

_ And my momma swore _

_ That she would never let herself forget _

_ And that was the day that I promised _

_ I'd never sing of love _

_ If it does not exist, but darlin' _

_ You are, the only exception _

Steve watched as this gorgeous and talented man sang about starting to believe in love again and probably it did work for him too.

He saw the man on the stage sing the whole song with his eyes closed, losing himself in the lyrics and felt tears falling down his cheeks.

_ Oh, and I'm on my way to believing. _

He opened his eyes singing the last line and the crowd exploded. 

The man smiled softly and looked down, almost shy.

“Well, I guess you liked it.” he laughed and the crowd screamed in agreement.

“Now it’s time for our last song.” he announced and the crowd booed.

“I know, I know, I would love to sing for you ‘till my voice gave out but we have some really amazing people waiting for us backstage and I don’t wanna miss them, so behave.” he warned their fans with a mocking glare and everyone laughed.

Steve felt his heart flip at the thought of meeting him in a few minutes and cleared his throat when he saw his friends looking at him smirking.

“So, before ending this concert I wanna thank my amazing bandmates.” he said with a smile before turning towards the drummer.

“Gwen Stacy, our phenomenal drummer!”

The blonde girl stood up, holding her drumsticks high and smiling while the whole crowd screamed.

“America Chavez, our marvelous bassist!” 

The Latina girl at his right bowed a little laughing at the sound of the crowd.

“Clint Barton, the guitarist.” James said with a smirk.

“Why am I not getting a compliment?” the blond said, mockingly offended.

The crowd laughed and the two men hugged each other.

“And our amazing singer James Barnes!” the girl introduced as America yelled with an arm on the man’s shoulders.

The crowd exploded and James bowed with a little shy smile.

A second later Gwen was playing the drums.

“Thank you so much for tonight, New York. Until next time! This is crushcrushcrush.” The brunette announced before he started signing what Steve recognized as the song which lyrics were embodied on his ribs.

Half an hour later Steve was walking through some narrow corridors with Sam, Natasha, Tony and Pepper.

He was nervous, his heart was beating fast and his palms were sweating.

“Relax Cap, it’ll be okay.” Tony said, an arm slung over his shoulder and an encouraging smile on his face.

Steve nodded uncertainly.

The security man who they were following opened a door and let them get in.

Pepper thanked him and they all entered the room.

It was probably a break room, with some couches, a fridge and a tv.

They sat down and Tony went to the fridge to get some beers.

“Are you okay?” Natasha asked Steve quietly, while the others were talking with each other.

The blond shrugged and took a sip of his own beer.

The door slung open in that moment and the two girls from the band, Gwen and America, entered the room.

“Oh my God, hi!” America said with a smile shaking Sam’s hand.

“Hi to you too.” he replied smiling back.

They introduced themselves to everyone in the room and in a matter of minutes Pepper, Gwen and Nat were talking passionately about something Steve couldn’t make out and America, Sam and Tony were discussing which kind of beer was the best one.

Steve took another swing of his beer, but almost choked when James and the guitarist, Clint, entered the room.

James changed clothes, wearing an almost-all-the-way-open floral shirt and tight black jeans.

Steve saw the moment Clint laid eyes on Natasha and how he lightened up and chuckled.

The chuckle died soon though.

When he moved his gaze from the blond, he found himself looking into that gray-blue he tried for weeks to recreate with paint but couldn’t.

“Hi.” James greeted him with a shy smile and a slight blush.

Steve gaped at him for a few seconds, before Natasha elbowed him in the ribs.

“ _What’s the craic?_ ” he blurted out.

James’ eyes went wide and his mouth fell open.

The whole room was quiet.

“Y-You-“ James tried to say, stuttering.

Steve cleared his throat.

Tony, bless him, spoke up.

“America, Gwen, Clint, what about you show us around?” he said loudly, looking at them meaningfully.

The three started nodding and blurting out “yes” and “sure” before the room was completely cleared in a matter of seconds.

“So, uhm-“ Steve started, but stopped right away, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Did you-Did you know?” James asked, still in shock.

Steve nodded, sheepishly.

“How?”

The blond reached for the hem of his shirt and James’ eyes widened more and his face went red.

“No, wait!” Steve explained, before pulling up a part of his shirt to show the words on his ribs.

James held up a hand, maybe to reach out and stopped to look at Steve, as if asking for permission.

Steve nodded shyly and James touched the words lightly with his fingers.

The super soldier shivered and held his breath while the other man traced every letter watching patently.

James straightened up and Steve watched as he unbuckled the black bracelet on his right wrist.

He held out his arm, to let Steve see the words and the blond reached out to touch lightly.

_ What’s the craic? _

It was his first words to James, written in his handwriting, on James’ wrist.

His breath caught in his throat as he brought up his gaze and found James already looking at him with soft eyes.

“Hi.” he repeated.

“Hi, James.” Steve replied with a small, shy smile.

“Bucky.” the man said.

Steve looked at him confused, and the man laughed.

“Call me Bucky. It’s an old nickname, but I like it better.” he explained with a shrug.

Steve smiled fondly at him.

“I’ve waited so long for you, Bucky.” the bigger man said, looking straight in the other’s eyes.

Bucky’s smile widened and he took a step closer, putting a hand on Steve’s chest.

“You’ve found me now.” he whispered.

The distance between them closed slowly and when their lips locked, they knew they found it.

They knew they found the _one._

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think with a little comment!


End file.
